The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Ha! This piece of crap got a 67% on Rotten Tomatoes?

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Say what you will about Ang Lee’s attempt at the Hulk in 2003. At least there was some originality in that. The Incredible Hulk is far from incredible. It’s stupid. It’s noisy. It’s trash film-making.

I will give this reboot some credit though for not hashing out the origin story again. It’s fairly simple, and told quite concisely during the opening credits. Afterwards, we meet Bruce Banner who finds himself in Brazil in his run away from the American government and the absolutely thick-skulled, nonsensical general ‘Thunderbolt’ Ross. Why in the world does he keep trying to tranquilize Bruce? How’d that work for you when you had him trapped at Culver University?

Hulk

Hey general. Do you realize that Bruce is only a problem for you when he turns into the Hulk? Why don’t you stop gassing him and shooting sharp needles at him and try throwing a net at him or something. Or get your men to handcuff him. Anything, just anything that won’t set off the Hulk!

The definition of “angry” also gets really skewed in this movie. It is somehow tied to his heart-rate, which makes no sense to me. Wouldn’t running for his life away from the government set off the Hulk then? It also doesn’t allow him to partake in sexual activities with love interest Betty Ross, which really has nothing to do with anger.

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At this point, I’m just nitpicking. The real problems of the film comes down to the characters, visual effects, and story. Every single character in the film is unlikeable except Bruce, and even then, the other side of him is fairly uncontrollable. Betty flat-out abandons her boyfriend, which questions why he was even written into the script. She’s a weak and uninteresting character, having little of her own motivations and left tending to Bruce’s every needs diligently. Mr. Blue, or the scientist who tries to help Bruce, is naive, careless, and ditsy to the point of distracting caricature.

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The action doesn’t even hold up well under its 150 million dollar budget. Much work went into sculpting the Hulk’s every CGI muscle, but he often resembles a video game figurine more than a movie-quality engineered model. There are ridiculous, made-up weapons that shoots SOUND at the Hulk, followed up with ridiculous occurrences, like the Hulk smashing the ground and causing the Abomination to slip.

Worst of all, the action has no place in the story, simply because there is no story. It’s obvious that the action took precedence, as the Hulk simply LEAVES after he defeats the Abomination monster the screenwriters just shoved in there for the final fight.

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Hey. Hulk. What about all the blood Mr. Blue synthesized? Aren’t you worried about that falling into the hands of the government? What about Mr. Blue? He was left back there with your blood dripping on his head. What about the Abomination you left behind? What’s gonna happen to him? What about… oh forget it. This movie SUCKS.

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